by Sylvia Becker-Hill
“The only constant in life is change,” goes the old saying. Yet, why is change often so difficult? Experts across disciplines have explored this question extensively, but I want to highlight a lesser-known blind spot—one I personally overlooked for a decade in my 28 years as an executive coach.
Through the following reflection exercise, I invite you to uncover this blind spot in your own life.
A Simple Exercise for Powerful Insights
Take a sheet of lined paper. Across the top, write the numbers 1 to 5 spaced across the page and draw lines vertically between the numbers to see 5 columns.
Column 1:
Think of significant changes you attempted or made as an adult—personal or professional. Maybe you tried shifting careers, led your team in a new direction, moved to a different location, or improved your health. Write a keyword for each in the first column.
Column 2:
Rate each change on a scale from 1 to 5:
1 = “Not difficult at all, flowed easily”
5 = “Extremely hard, almost impossible”
Write the corresponding number in the second column.
Column 3:
In the third column, classify each attempt as:
F for Failure
S for Success
B for Something in Between
Column 4:
Assess whether the reasons behind each success, failure, or in-between outcome are clear (“C”) or not clear (“N”) to you.
Before filling in column five, let me reveal the blind spot I uncovered in 2007. While coaching clients with similar circumstances, I noticed stark differences in their success levels. Digging deeper, I adjusted my onboarding process, collected more data, and—boom!—the light bulb went on.
We are relational beings, and that includes our relationship with change—a factor most people never examine. What if your subconscious beliefs about change determine how easy or hard it is for you? What if they shape your level of success?
Reflect on your early childhood:
Did your family go through a lot of change or remain stable?
Did your parents embrace change or resist it?
Was change stressful, joyful, or neutral for you?
Based on those memories, what is your relationship with change?
Most people’s relationship with change falls somewhere on a continuum between actively avoiding it and actively initiating it. Circle the word that you assume to be your change relationship type:
Avoidance - Denial – Resistance – Stalling – Acceptance – Embrace – Seeking - Initiation
Column 5:
Revisit your list and write in column five one of the words from the continuum above that matches how your relationship with that specific change felt to you. What insights are emerging for you?
Congratulations! You now have more awareness and empowerment around change than most people—including experts! When you understand your most common relationship to change you can plan changes in your life with that in mind and raise the likeliness of success.
In the next month’s issue of H.A.N.N.A, we’ll explore brain hacks to increase your adaptability and train your brain’s neuroplasticity. The world is changing in big ways and the speed is accelerating. To keep up while staying mentally sane and physically healthy is a challenge we all face. The good news: You can change-proof yourself! Let me show you how.
Wishing you joyful change success in 2025!
Sylvia
Certified Master Neuroplastician,
Developer of the Neuro CreativityTM Framework for Change
P.S. I’d love to hear from you! Email me your insights or questions with “HANNA” in the subject line.
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