by Val Tan
Sometimes when things are falling apart, they could be falling into place" - Unknown
I decided to co-author this book because a few friends and loved ones would always mention how ‘strong’ I am for going through what I went through yet looked unscathed. There were times that I struggled in silence. There were days where I was not sure what I would eat, but if my daughter had something to eat, it would be okay.
There was not a guide or rubric on how to get through difficulties or challenges in my life. Eventually, one gets to the point when they must tap into what may sometimes be buried deep inside them. My chapter goes into detail about the hardships that I endured. From being homeless, divorced, or a single parent—and at one point, all at the same time.
I needed faith, to be girded with the promises of God that were constant reminders and daily affirmations. Even when I could not see the outcome of a hard moment in time, I knew having blind faith would be an essential guide.
I needed love—from having self-love to loving others. I had to find healthy outlets such as church community, therapy, and leveraging the support of loved ones.
I needed grit; having perseverance to know my path would find me. Despite suffering, almost giving up, and facing moments of doubt—there were also moments where I was able to bear witness to the fruits of my labor. Although going through so much, I did not allow that to keep me from being who I am.
I remained genuine and kind. I remained empathetic to others. I remained understanding and non-judgmental. I remained eager to learn. Each difficulty taught me more about myself. I share my story through a healed lens.
One may ask—Val, you’re not the first person to be divorced or homeless, so what makes your situation different than anyone else’s?
I would simply say that it is different because of me. I embrace how unique we all are, and our experiences help define our purpose.
Those that I can inspire simply because I was not hesitant to share
how I made it through. There could be someone enduring a heavy burden and not really know what to do next. This chapter is for them. There could be someone who is attempting to define their career, however not too sure how to go about it. This chapter is for them. There could be someone trying to find their voice and not sure if it would matter. This chapter is for them.
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